


can you feel my heartbeat

by eyeronicmuch



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeronicmuch/pseuds/eyeronicmuch
Summary: Doyoung doesn’t get it. If he has his soulmate’s name written on the inside of his left wrist, and his enemy’s name on his right wrist, then why does he have Jaehyun written on both?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 52
Kudos: 561





	can you feel my heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> for the best girl ever  
> amanda, ily !

Doyoung doesn’t get it.

He’s always had the name of his enemy written on his right wrist, ever since he was five and Jeong Jaehyun has accidentally poked him in the eye with a marker. He’s known Jaehyun was his enemy since Jaehyun once pushed him off the slide when he was six and when Jaehyun stole his lunch when Doyoung was seven. He’s known that he and Jaehyun were fated to not get along when Jaehyun scored top of the class in year six of elementary school and Doyoung was second to him, he’s known that Jaehyun would forever be his rival be it in school, music school or college. Wherever Doyoung went, Jaehyun was never far behind, always making Doyoung’s life a living hell.

It’s widely known for everyone in Doyoung’s circle of friends that he and Jaehyun don’t get along. They’re like oil and fire, an unstoppable force and an immovable object. Nobody knows why _exactly_ they’re on bad terms, they just are.

When Yuta jokingly said “What if he turns out to be your soulmate?” Doyoung laughed in his face and flipped him off, telling Yuta he was being absurd. Yuta shrugged and they continued on with the day, and Doyoung forgot about the incident altogether.

So when Doyoung’s left wrist colours with the same exact initials like on his right one, the same italic _Jeong Jaehyun_ written nearly in black ink, he feels his eyes pop out of his sockets.

—

“This is wrong.” Doyoung says. “There is absolutely no _way_ this can be anything but wrong. Have you ever seen somebody have the same name for their soulmate and their enemy?”

“No,” Yuta shakes his head, examining Doyoung’s wrists. The place where Jaehyun’s name is etched onto his skin tingles unpleasantly. Doyoung wants to rub it off so badly, but he can’t even if he tries. “This is so amusing. I Can’t believe I’m a prophet. Want any more predictions?”

“Oh screw off.”

Yuta grins, “My sixth sense is telling me you and Jaehyun, uh, are going to be forced to communicate very soon. Maybe, hmm, tomorrow.”

“Left costar jobless,” Taeyong laughs next to him, “But seriously, Jaehyun doesn’t seem so bad,” Taeyong comments. “I’ve seen him around in the library and the hallways. He was very nice. Offered to carry around my portfolio once before my assessment. And trust me, that stuff is _heavy_.”

“This is unbelievable,” Doyoung laments. “Is Fate messing with me?”

“Maybe so,” Yuta ponders. “Are you sure you don’t want to, like, talk to Jaehyun? Get to know him or something? Try to get along?”

“No,” Doyoung deadpans. “I’d rather waste away.”

“For how long have you known each other?” Taeyong asks. “A decade and a half, right? Don’t tell me you didn’t try at least once to be friends with him.”

“No,” Doyoung blinks, “Why would I? He’s been my enemy since we were five.”

Yuta sips on his Tim Hortons latte. “Doesn’t mean you have to stay enemies for life. Ever thought of that?”

“Huh,” Doyoung says. “Not really.”

—

The problem with Doyoung is that he’s used to things staying the same. Sure, change is inevitable, and Doyoung understands that, but the sense of familiarly and having a constant is always something that he finds far too comfortable. Something alike to permanence.

Like not getting along with Jaehyun.

Doyoung stares at the inside of his left wrist and touches the name on it. The touch tingles with little bursts of electricity, and Doyoung bites on his bottom lip, not knowing how to deal with all of this.

He hasn’t even seen Jaehyun at all.

Okay, that’s a bit of a lie. He’s been avoiding Jaehyun ever since he found out they’re soulmates. Which was around five days ago. He’s seen Jaehyun attempt to approach him a couple of times after that, but Doyoung either ignored him or fled in the opposite direction, too embarrassed. He wonders: does Jaehyun know they’re soulmates? He’s never asked, honestly.

Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t remember if they’ve had any civil conversations that weren’t after middle school.

He thinks back to year eight when he broke his shoulder and Jaehyun insisted on drawing on his cast.

“Don’t ruin my cast.” Doyoung had warned.

“I won’t,” promised Jaehyun, grinning from ear to ear as he uncapped a permanent black marker, “I’m good at drawing.”

Jaehyun wasn’t good at drawing. His hand was too wobbly and he left smudges with his fingertips and Doyoung was pissed.

He walked around with a smudged smiley face for the following three weeks until his shoulder healed. He had multiple drawings all over his cast, but for some reason Jaehyun’s simple smiley face stood out to him the most.

Doyoung thinks maybe that was their last civil interaction. Or maybe the last one was when in high school Jaehyun’s parents were out of town and Jaehyun crashed in Doyoung’s room for the week. Doyoung was displeased but his parents threatened to take away his console if he wasn’t nice, so Doyoung sucked it up.

In retrospect, it wasn’t that bad. Jaehyun never bothered him or pranked him or anything an enemy would do. He was just _there_ in his house, helping his mom with the dishes after dinner as if he were a friend. And it felt natural. Doyoung almost felt like they could be friends. But then he looked at words on his right wrist and thought, _no, maybe not._

On the fourth night of Jaehyun staying in Doyoung’s apartment there was a storm. Heavy rain rattled against the window and the walls shook with each roar of the thunder.

“Doyoung, are you sleeping?” Jaehyun whispered. It was long past midnight and both boys were in bed. Doyoung in his own, and Jaehyun on a spare mattress beside his bed.

“I’m awake now,” Doyoung grumbled. “What’s up?”

“I can’t sleep. The thunder…” Jaehyun trailed off. “Can I sleep with you?”

Doyoung blinked his sleepiness away. “My bed is too small.”

“Please.” Jaehyun said. He sat up on the spare mattress and leaned over to Doyoung. “I’m too scared.”

Doyoung thought that Jaehyun was too old to be scared of thunders at that age, that the rain was relaxing and calming; he thought of going back to sleep, but then remembered about the deal with his console, so he scooted over until he hit the wall adjacent to his bed and lifted his cover. “Alright.”

He could make out Jaehyun’s timid smile in the darkness. “Thanks.”

Jaehyun pressed his warm body to Doyoung’s as he climbed over to his bed. The bed was indeed too small, and Jaehyun didn’t know what to do with his arms. “Can I hug you?”

“Sure.” Doyoung said. “Anything else?”

They were facing each other, and although the only source of light was coming through the small window on the opposite side of the room, Doyoung could see how deep Jaehyun’s eyes were. Jaehyun wrapped one arm around him and put another one under his pillow. He leaned his head to Doyoung’s chest, to Doyoung’s heartbeat, which seemed to calm his shaking down.

“Could you stroke my hair? My mom does it to me when I feel scared.”

Doyoung laughed. He was too tired to argue. “Why not.”

He brought his free arm to Jaehyun’s head and started slowly patting it to the sound of the rain.

“Ouch, not like that,” Jaehyun said. “You’re giving me a headache like this.”

“You waking me up in the middle of the night is giving me a headache.”

Jaehyun’s voice quietened a little. “I’m sorry.”

Doyoung hummed. He closed his eyes and stroked Jaehyun’s head slower that time. His hair was soft. Doyoung felt his legs tangling with Jaehyun’s.

“Could you sing me a song? My mom told me you sing well.”

“Uh,” Doyoung said, “Okay.”

He started humming a lullaby, feeling a bit awkward, but after a couple of minutes Jaehyun managed to fall asleep.

Doyoung felt his heart skip a beat and his right wrist burn again. He couldn’t sleep well that night.

—

“Are you sure you hate Jaehyun?” Taeyong asks in a café not far from campus.

“Yeah.” Doyoung says, “I mean, he _is_ my enemy. Do you have an enemy?”

“My art teacher,” Taeyong laughs, “But that was in high school.”

“Oh right, the one that failed you?”

“Yeah. He told me I wouldn’t get anywhere with my skills, but now look at me. I’m here, and I’m thriving.”

“Hm. I guess everybody has an enemy.”

“That’s true, however, it doesn’t mean it’s a permanent thing. Fate or Destiny or whatever don’t decide everything for you. Think of it more as a suggestion of sorts, they tell you who your soulmate or enemy are going to be but you take it with a grain of salt. Yuta’s enemy changed, for example. Twice. And I feel so bad, to be honest. Jaehyun looks at you with stars in his eyes.”

“He does?”

Taeyong quirks a brow. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Doyoung squirms. He really doesn’t. Every time he and Jaehyun are around, Doyoung tries not too look at his face. He doesn’t know why. Jaehyun makes him kind of nervous. Are enemies supposed to make one feel nervous? Doyoung thinks it’s the irritation. Jaehyun is quite pretty after all. His face is stupidly attractive: he has these dimples on his cheeks and his hair is always so nicely styled. Doyoung groans.

He actually hasn’t seen Jaehyun as much these days, compared to when they were children and forcefully glued at the hip. It started when Doyoung graduated and moved out to university first. He stayed in a dorm, so he didn’t see Jaehyun for an entire school year, and he worked in the summer so he didn’t go back home. Jaehyun took a gap year and they fell completely out of touch for a while until they met the summer after, and even now that they’re both in the same college their classes are in different buildings so they don’t talk as much. But that’s a good thing, right? If it is, Doyoung doesn’t know why the thought of growing apart scares him so much.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong says softly, “I don’t think you hate him.”

—

So maybe they’ve had plenty of civil conversations. The more Doyoung thinks about it, the more he feels like he’s losing his mind.

In the summer when Doyoung came from college, Jaehyun was the one who picked him up from the train station. Jaehyun appeared taller, his hair longer, his eyes older. Doyoung almost didn’t recognise him.

“So many things can happen in a year,” Jaehyun had said as he helped put Doyoung’s suitcase in his car. “But you didn’t change a bit.”

“Oh, shut up,” Doyoung had said. “Mom told me you applied to the same university?”

“Yeah. I got an athletic scholarship. But I want to major in economics.”

“Economics? Really?”

Jaehyun laughed. “You’re doing Maths. We’re not that far from each other. Want to get McDonald’s on the way?”

It was then, while eating burgers and fries in the McDonald’s parking lot, did Doyoung realize that he’s missed Jaehyun more than he’d liked to admit.

Jaehyun drove them to the beach. The wind was cool and the waves were lapping slowly at the shore.

“Have you missed home?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yeah,” Doyoung said. He breathed in the fresh salty air, felt the soft sand underneath his fingertips. He noticed Jaehyun’s burning gaze on him, but when he turned to face Jaehyun, Jaehyun averted his gaze.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No…” Jaehyun had said. “I just… Missed you. I guess.”

“You guess?” Doyoung asked. He couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading on his face.

For some reason Jaehyun’s face looked red. His cheeks especially. The wind blew at his hair softly, ruffled his t-shirt. Doyoung realized he couldn’t look away. He was twenty then.

“Let’s go home,” Jaehyun had said. Doyoung doesn’t recall for how long they were quietly sitting there, watching the waves. “Mom threw a celebration dinner. They must be waiting for us.”

“Sure.” Doyoung sat up from the sand. He noticed his right wrist was itching. When he looked at it Jaehyun’s name was pale. For a split moment Doyoung wished the name would just disappear. Then he would certainly have been able to breathe properly around him.

—

“How did you get your soulmark?” Yuta asks. It’s been around a couple of weeks since Doyoung found out about who his soulmate is.

Doyoung thinks, “I think it was the day when Jaehyun popped up in my dorm room, asking if I had any spare sugar.”

Yuta laughs, “That’s all it took for you to realize he was your soulmate?”

“It wasn’t _me_ who realized shit, and no, he then told me he was baking brownies, but he didn’t actually know how to bake them at all, so I ended up helping him.”

“Interesting.”

“I don’t like the grin on your face right now,” Doyoung mumbles. “Anyway, we ended up baking two batches of brownies. Then we ate them over a movie.”

Yuta quirks a brow, smile broadening.

“You look like a cheshire right now, stop.”

“So you guys watched a movie together?”

“Yeah.”

“And? That’s it?”

“Yeah. Then after that I went back up to my room and woke up with his name on my wrist.”

Doyoung leaves out the part where Jaehyun had been snuggled up to him on the couch, had his head on Doyoung’s shoulder while he was picking a movie with the remote. Funnily enough, it was storming outside, so Jaehyun wouldn’t unwrap his arms from Doyoung’s torso, just like many years ago when he stayed over at his place.

“Are you still scared?” Doyoung had asked.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun nodded. He clung to Doyoung for dear life with each boom of the thunder or strike of a lightning.

Doyoung had leaned back on the couch into a more comfortable position, Jaehyun lying somewhat on top of him. Doyoung had his head on the armrest of the couch, so he could still see what was happening on TV and Jaehyun’s head was right on his chest. Doyoung absentmindedly played with Jaehyun’s hair while watching the movie.

“Your heart,” Jaehyun had said. His voice was quiet amidst the pattering of the rain.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“It’s beating fast.” Jaehyun had lifted up his head, and their faces were so _close_. Doyoung’s breath hitched.

“It’s now beating faster. I can feel it,” Jaehyun had grinned. He put his palm right to Doyoung’s heart and Doyoung, frowning, shoved him off the couch.

“I hate you,” he grumbled.

“I know,” Jaehyun laughed as he sat back on the sofa. He put on a new movie, and that time he decided to sit far. Doyoung didn’t want to admit it, but he missed the warmth.

And then he had woken up with Jaehyun’s name on his left wrist, as much as his heart sank and he was confused, it all somehow made _sense_ , and it made so much sense, because honestly, who else could Doyoung’s soulmate be if not Jaehyun?

But Yuta doesn’t need to know such details.

—

It’s conflicting. It’s conflicting, when you believe in a certain thing throughout your entire life, and then suddenly it turns out that what you believed in was suddenly wrong. Or was it?

Doyoung really doesn’t get it. He sits by his desk and stares at his hands with so much intensity enough to drill a hole through his skin. Both marks of Jaehyun’s name stare right back at him, and Doyoung groans. How is this possible? It should not be possible.

To have your enemy as your soulmate too. But– Doyoung can understand it. He’s had Taeyong knock some sense into him recently. But it’s also _hard_ , to go against fate, but at the same time fate itself is making things hard. Are they supposed to be this hard?

Doyoung doesn’t think so.

He calls Taeyong for help, and Taeyong surprisingly is awake at two in the morning.

“Doyoung?” he says through the phone, “Everything alright?”

“I thought about what you said and I... I think I love him,” Doyoung breathes out.

“Oh.” There’s a beat of silence and Doyoyng registers Taeyong shuffle and sit up on his bed at the other end of the phone. “You just realized this now?”

“Around two minutes ago. But I feel like I have been in love ever since we were children.”

“Oh, Doyoung,” Taeyong smiles, “Isn’t it a wonderful feeling?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung says, “I feel like I’m on the top of the world, but also like at the bottom of the ocean. What do I do?”

“You can either tell him, or do nothing.” Taeyong says. “If you guys are soulmates, things will work out between you two. Definitely. For now, sleep.”

“I don’t think that’ll work,” Doyoung whispers, “Jaehyun thinks I hate him.”

“Ah, right,” Taeyong says, “Then all you can do is convince Jaehyun otherwise, no?”

“I’ll try.”

Doyoung hangs up. He feels so exhausted and anxious and he doesn’t know how to confront Jaehyun about this. He thinks about how for years he’s felt irritation and annoyance towards Jaehyun that he realizes now was just masked attraction and infatuation. Doyoung wants the ground to swallow him whole.

—

Yuta invites him to a party. It’s Halloween themed, and he tells everyone to dress up.

Doyoung thinks of bailing, but Taeyong insists he comes.

“It’s gonna be much more fun with you.” He says.

The party falls on a Friday, and Doyoung has only one class on that day. He puts on an orange turtleneck and hopes it passes enough as a pumpkin costume.

When he arrives to the dorm room at seven in the evening, not many people are there. He helps Yuta and Taeyong heat up the pizza and lay out fruit on the table. Yuta is dressed as Frankenstein and Taeyong as Harry Potter.

“You both look ridiculous.”

“If my costume is ridiculous, who are you supposed to be?”

“A pumpkin,” Doyoung says. Taeyong bellows in laughter.

“What’s so funny? I had class today. Didn’t want to look ridiculous.”

“Your class finished at four and the party started at seven.” Taeyong points out.

“I went to a mall with friends. Bought some gloves.” Doyoung explains.

Taeyong says, “I have a party hat lying around here somewhere. Ah, found it. Here, put it on.”

He puts in Doyoung’s head despite Doyoung’s protests.

“Johnny is gonna arrive with more booze soon,” Yuta informs. “You bet your ass we’re gonna get wasted. It’s Halloween and midterms are over. A double celebration.”

“Just don’t throw up,” Doyoung warns, adjusting the hat. “Otherwise you’re gonna cleat that shit up _and_ get fined.”

“Taeyong will take care of me,” Yuta huffs, setting up the oven, “right?”

“No promises,” Taeyong says, amused. He already has a cup of beer in his hands, half-empty. “Let me turn on the speakers,” he suggests.

After a while more people start to fill up the place. Mostly Yuta’s friends from the soccer team. Some wish Doyoung a happy birthday because of his hat. He also spots a handful of people from Johnny’s basketball team, which means Jaehyun must also be here, too.

Doyoung sighs. Speak of the devil.

“Hey,” Jaehyun walks up to him through the crowd, dimples crinkling and all. He gives Doyoung a plastic cup. He sounds far too laid-back for someone whom Doyoung has been ghosting.

“What’s this?” Doyoung asks. He takes in Jaehyun’s outfit for tonight: a black cape, slicked back hair and fake sharp fangs.

“Whiskey and cola.”

Doyoung accepts it. “Thanks.”

“I heard you found out who your soulmate is,” Jaehyun states.

“Ah, yeah,” Doyoung replies, feeling uncomfortable. His party hat feels too tight on his head. He registers the booming of the speakers increasing, heavy music filling up the space. His whiskey sloshes in his cup.

“Who is it?”

Doyoung motions with his hands that he can’t hear. “What?”

“I said,” Jaehyun leans closer to him, “Who’s your soulmate? Do I know them?”

“Oh. Yeah, you do.”

“Oh. Nice. A girl?”

“A boy.”

Jaehyun nods, “I see.” He chugs his drink down. Doyoung watches his adam’s apple bob up and down with each sip.

Someone calls Doyoung’s name, wishes him a happy birthday. Doyoung stares in confusion before realizing. He takes the party hat off.

“Why are you asking?”

“Just curious.” Jaehyun replies. “I’ve always wondered who your soulmate might be.”

Doyoung’s eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

“Because,” Jaehyun rolls his sleeve up, revealing his left wrist. Doyoung stares at the writing of his own name in horror. “I’ve always known you were my soulmate. I want to know who yours is.” Jaehyun says. “I think I deserve to know that, at least.”

“What?” Doyoung asks, eyes as wide as saucers. He rolls up his own sleeve. His and Jaehyun’s soulmate marks start glowing golden.

Jaehyun smiles a little. “I knew it.” He says.

“Since when did you know?”

“Since we were five.”

“Five.” Doyoung repeats. He looks at Jaehyun. “When you poked me in the eye.”

“When I did what?” Jaehyun laughs. “But yeah. I guess so.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Doyoung takes a hold of Jaehyun’s wrist. His name looks so nice on it. The music is loud. Doyoung feels his head throb.

“I tried,” Jaehyun says, “but you never gave me a chance to speak!”

Doyoung frowns. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“Why?” Jaehyun asks.

“When I was six, you pushed me off the slide.”

“I was like five.”

“I had scraped my knees as I tumbled onto the ground and I _still_ have the scars from that incident.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And when I was seven you stole my lunch. And then I remember in year four you beat me in talent show.”

“How is that my problem?”

“And _then_ , you won top of the class in year six, and in middle school you stole the girl I liked.”

“Doyoung, I’m gay! She just started hanging around me. I didn’t even know you liked her.”

“In high school you followed me around everywhere, tried to butt into my circle of friends, did the same thing I did.”

“You were someone I admired!”

“Huh?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun says, “You thought I was just annoying you? I was trying to be your friend. I wanted you to notice me.”

Doyoung stills. “But then why did you poke my eye with a marker?”

“I was four! I don’t even remember that happening. Have you been holding grudges against me for so long?”

“Your name has been written on my right wrist ever since that moment. Why do you think I always thought you hated me?”

Someone walks past them to the fridge, not minding their argument.

“I don’t know?” Jaehyun says, confused. “Don’t tell me I’m your enemy.”

“You are,” Doyoung replies. He feels like he’s shaking. “Because you always pestered and annoyed me when we were kids, and then teens, and now as adults. You always followed me around whenever we went, stole the spotlight from me. Why did you always manage to insert yourself in my life? What was the purpose?”

Jaehyun’s voice rises, “I wanted to get your attention. You were this impossibly cool neighbour I had, and you were also polite and kind and so smart for a kid I wanted to be your friend so badly. And then amidst all of this I developed feelings for you.”

“What?” Doyoung says over the booming bass of the speakers. “The music it too loud, I can’t hear you.”

Jaehyun pulls him by the front of his shirt and loudly says into his ear: “Because I am in love with you.”

Doyoung drops his plastic cup. It spills all over his sneakers. He stands there for a moment, realizing his sweater does _indeed_ look ridiculous, and Jaehyun’s vampire outfit is tacky too, and everything is absolutely _stupid_ , and also he can’t believe Jaehyun just said that. He blinks.

“Shit.”

He bends down to pick it up, not minding how he got his sneakers wet, how soaked and uncomfortable he feels, and is met with Jaehyun’s gaze.

“Do you really hate me? After all these years?”

“I–” Doyoung doesn’t know what to say. His head hurts and the music is too loud and there are so many people in this crammed space.

“Tell me.” Jaehyun presses. “Tell me you don’t hate me.”

Doyoung gulps. “Jaehyun, not here… not now…”

“Then when? Where? The moment we leave this party are you going to go back to avoiding and glaring at me? Not letting me talk to you? Dry replying to my texts? Frowning whenever you see me hang out with your friends? Because you hate me, right? Because I’m your enemy?”

“No,” Doyoung says, “Wait, no, I’m not going to. I won’t.”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t hate you.” Doyoung grabs onto Jaehyun’s shoulders. “I don’t.”

Jaehyun doesn’t look amused. He reaches out his own hand and puts it on Doyoung’s waist. His gaze softens.

“Only because you found out I’m your soulmate and now you have to put up with me?”

Doyoung doesn’t like the sadness he sees in his eyes.

“No,” Doyoung breathes out. “Not because of that.”

“Then what? I’ve been trying to love you for over a decade, Doyoung, but you never let me.”

Doyoung’s throat runs dry. “I didn’t know. I thought you hated me. I thought I was supposed to hate you.”

“You never gave me a chance.”

“I’m sorry,” Doyoung says. “I thought I was your enemy too.”

“You’re not. You never were.” Jaehyun holds Doyoung’s hand in his. “You were always my love.”

Doyoung feels nauseous. “Let’s go outside, please,” he says, “I need some air.”

“Let me get us our coats,” Jaehyun says. Doyoung follows him to the room where everybody’s coats are sprawled out on the couches.

Doyoung is the the process of putting on a scarf on himself when Jaehyun pulls him by the hand to the entrance door. Doyoung can’t help but take notice of how their hands feel nice together, of how their soulmate marks are _glowing_ with the prettiest shade of warmth Doyoung has ever seen, of how much Doyoung doesn’t want to let go.

Jaehyun doesn’t let go. The outside air hits Doyoung in the face, helps him clear his head.

“Want to go to the lake?” Jaehyun suggests.

Doyoung nods. “When does the bus come?”

“In about ten minutes.”

Jaehyun sits by the window in the bus. He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his coats. His cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and the cold. Doyoung sits next to him, even though the bus is empty.

He runs a hand through his hair.

It’s quiet by the lake. Doyoung anxiously looks at his hands, at the soulmate mark, thinking it could disappear at any moment if he blinks. He hears Jaehyun let out a sign beside him.

“Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung says. “Thank you. The crowd was making me lose my mind.”

Jaehyun hums. “Do you want to talk? About us? I feel like we should talk about us.”

“We should.”

“Can you tell me why were you avoiding me for the past month?” Jaehyun asks. He fiddles with his fingers. Doyoung notices how they’re turning red because of the biting cold. “I thought I had done something wrong.”

“It’s because I found out you were my soulmate,” Doyoung sighs out. His breath crystallises and evaporates into midair. “I had my entire world shifted upside down, so I needed a few weeks to figure things out. Then Taeyong metaphorically opened my third eye and I thought: okay, yeah, this all makes sense. You being my soulmate makes sense.”

“It does?”

“Yeah.” Doyoung nods. “Can you give me your hand?”

Jaehyun complies. His hand is cold as Doyoung cradles it. He looks at his name on Jaehyun’s wrist, traces it with his fingertips. The golden shine hasn’t wavered. It’s so nice to look at.

“How come I’ve never noticed this?” he asks about the soulmark.

“You never really looked.” Jaehyun says.

Doyoung puts Jaehyun’s palm over his cheek and leans into it. “I’m sorry,” he says.

Jaehyun caresses his cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Doyoung says, “I just– I’d always thought that since you were my enemy I was supposed to dislike you. But you were always around, you were almost beside me. We were childhood neighbours and we were in the same school for eleven years, now we’re in the same university and live across each other. It feels like fate is messing with me.” Doyoung clutches onto Jaehyun’s hand harder. “I was supposed to hate you, but I couldn’t help but feel so much fondness for you, I didn’t know how to deal with it so I ended up pushing you away every time I felt like I could burst.”

“What do you–”

“The point is,” Doyoung interrupts, “I think I love you.”

“You think you love me?”

“Yes. I mean no. I know I love you. I think I’ve loved you for a long time.”

“Oh.” Jaehyun says. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Rant over, I guess.”

“Can I, um,” Jaehyun hesitates, ears pink, “kiss you?”

“It’s cold.”

“So what?”

“Okay.”

Jaehyun tilts Doyoung’s head up a little as he leans in closer. Doyoung can feel the cold tip of Jaehyun’s nose graze his cheek before their lips touch. Jaehyun’s lips feels like ice, but his touch feels like fire. Doyoung exhales shakily, a bit overwhelmed.

He’s heard how electrifying it feels to kiss your soulmate, but he’d never thought it would feel quite like _this_. Jaehyun angles their heads more so he could kiss Doyoung deeper, and Doyoung feels like he’s exploding.

He pulls back once he’s out of breath, flushed and feeling way too hot for a chilly autumn night.

He intertwines his and Jaehyun’s hands together. It feels so natural.

“Our soulmarks,” he says, “they’re glowing.”

Jaehyun squeezes their hands. “Yeah. Can I kiss you again?”

“Yeah.”

Jaehyun is dressed as a vampire with a coat on, and Doyoung is dressed in a bright turtleneck sweater, also in a winter coat. It’s Halloween and it’s incredibly cold, and Jaehyun kisses him softly.

Doyoung feels a raindrop fall on his head.

“Jaehyun,” he whispers, “I think it’s going to rain soon.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun pulls back now. “Let’s go back to the dorms.”

The bus ride this time is also quiet. Jaehyun has his head on Doyoung’s shoulder meanwhile Doyoung watches the raindrops fall.

When Jaehyun drops Doyoung off in front of his room, Doyoung says: “I think it’s going to storm for the whole night again.”

“Looks like it.”

“Will you be… okay?” Doyoung asks. “I know you’re scared. Do you want to like, um, stay over?”

“Okay.”

Even in the middle of the night the thunder doesn’t stop. Jaehyun can’t sleep, so Doyoung makes two mugs of tea for them. Jaehyun sits on the couch, head turned in the direction of the window. Doyoung sits close to him as he puts the mugs on the coffee table.

Jaehyun instantly wraps his arm around him. Doyoung rubs circles on Jaehyun’s back, trying to get him to relax. Jaehyun’s ragged breathing stabilises when he leans his ear to Doyoung’s chest.

Doyoung feels impossibly warm having Jaehyun in his arms like this.

“Your heartbeat,” Jaehyun whispers after a while, “It always calms me down.”

Doyoung strokes Jaehyun’s hair, smiling a little.

“It’s so steady, so soothing,” Jaehyun goes on. “I know it’s silly that I’m scared of thunder in the first place, but with you beside me I don’t feel scared.”

“Oh, Jaehyun,” Doyoung cups Jaehyun’s cheeks. The pitter patter of the rain seems to have drained out. Doyoung pulls him in for a tender kiss.

Jaehyun rests his head on Doyoung’s chest again. He dozes off like that, lying on top of him, while Doyoung hums him a song. It feels awfully nostalgic like this. Doyoung looks at the window and sees that the sky has cleared. As he brings a hand to Jaehyun’s hair, he notices how his soulmark is shining with amber and gold, and when he glances at his right wrist – Jaehyun’s name is suddenly gone.

**Author's Note:**

> haha yutae spin-off anyone?


End file.
